How to Prepare for Tough Holiday Conversations (Practice Before You Sit Down to Dinner)
By Chuck Doran and Megan Winkeler
The holidays are a time for family and friends to come together and share our appreciation for one another – and of course, to navigate potentially difficult conversations and awkward mealtime moments. Gatherings become a forum to either avoid controversial topics or advocate for what we believe in, often leaving everyone around the table feeling uncomfortable.
Luckily, you can interact with bots that provide you the opportunity to practice skills for leading productive conversations about difficult topics. For example, the New York Times created an “Angry Uncle Bot” so you can practice skills for having political conversations, allowing you to choose to engage with a liberal or conservative relative. The Angry Uncle then puts forward a potentially fraught political statement, and you must choose how to respond from three preset options. Then, a coach gives you feedback about your choice.
The lessons provided by the article’s coach reflect advice that MWI has given on this blog about addressing interpersonal conflict, dealing with difficult tactics, managing strong emotions, focusing on interests, practicing active listening, and preparing to navigate potentially difficult conversations. Here’s the guidance:
“1. Ask open-ended, genuinely curious, nonjudgmental questions.
2. Listen to what people you disagree with say and deepen your understanding with follow-up inquiries.
3. Reflect back their perspective by summarizing their answers and noting underlying emotions.
4. Agree before disagreeing by naming ways in which you agree with their point of view.
5. Share your perspective by telling a story about a personal experience.”
Interacting with a bot only takes a couple of minutes, and the lessons are helpful for conversations far beyond politically-motivated disagreements. Take the bot for a spin, and prepare for those difficult conversations before you sit down to enjoy your meal.
Of course, engaging with a bot is easier than managing conflict with humans. If you want to build on the advice above and develop the skills for navigating difficult conversations at home or in the workplace, check out MWI’s Difficult Conversations Skills Workshops.
MWI wishes you productive conversations during the holiday season!
To learn more about managing difficult conversations and building your negotiation skills, contact Joe Bubman at 847-712-5454 or jbubman@mwi.org.
