By Karin Okada, past MWI intern and masters student at Columbia University’s School of Professional Studies
“Be directive with the process, but be facilitative with the content.”
As I near the end of my three-month internship with MWI, I’ve been reflecting on this quote that I’ve come to cherish. At times, it can be challenging to remain neutral as a facilitator rather than stepping in to offer solutions, especially when parties reach a stalemate or become caught up in emotion. My time at MWI has helped me understand that our mission is not to make the conflict our own, but to guide the parties in moving away from positions and toward identifying their underlying interests.
As a political science major, I’ve been trained to analyze the interests of actors, assess the dynamics at play, and generate solutions such as policy recommendations. That’s why stepping into the world of alternative dispute resolution initially challenged me. It required shifting from problem-solving to facilitation. The more mediations I observed and the more practitioners I met, the clearer it became that giving parties ownership of the options and outcomes is one of the most powerful ways to show respect and care. In international development, interventions imposed by a third party are often seen as unsustainable or lacking legitimacy. The same can be true in mediation and ombuds work: lasting resolution happens when parties design their own solutions. Our job is to help them find ways to cross the divide, whether they choose to build a bridge, fill it with stones, or take a boat, that choice belongs to them.
Remaining impartial can be difficult, especially when emotions run high. Early on, I found myself feeling strong empathy for certain parties and wanting to lift them out of their situations. But this quote reminds me that being directive with the process and facilitative with the content means creating space for parties to use their own voices, however difficult the circumstances may be. Allowing people to speak for themselves is empowering, and with emotional intelligence and sensitivity, mediators and ombuds can support them in finding their footing and taking initiative.
Though my time at MWI was short, it was one of the most eye-opening experiences of my life. Deepening my understanding of the art of conflict resolution was meaningful and transformative. I’m deeply grateful to the welcoming and supportive professionals I met at MWI and will carry these lessons with me as I begin my professional career.
Connect with Karin on LinkedIn here: Karin Okada.
Looking to learn more about mediation? Visit this page to learn more about MWI’s 40-Hour Mediation Training Program.
