The following questions and answers are designed to provide information for
couples considering mediation as a way to secure a divorce in a efficient and
productive manner. Please contact MWI's Director of Mediation
Services, Joshua M. Hoch, at (800-348-4888 x23) or <jhoch@mwi.org>
with questions.
Please click on the following for answers to the following questions:
 What is mediation?
Mediation is a productive and non-adversarial process for resolving
disputes. Mediation involves option exploration and decision making
necessary to reach equitable agreements in light of each participant's
values, resources and needs.
What is a mediator?
A
mediator is a trained professional who helps people with differences have
productive conversations.
A mediator does not make decisions for the parties. Rather, a mediator
provides an environment for parties to negotiate effectively.
A mediator assists both parties to define the issues, recognize interests,
facilitate the generation of options and write an agreement.
What is divorce mediation?
Divorce mediation creates an opportunity for
couples to work out the terms of their divorce in less time, with less cost, and
often with less hostility and fewer lasting negative effects. Unlike the
traditional court processes, mediation encourages couples to take control over
the outcome by making their own decisions. Our professional mediators will not
make decisions for you. They are trained to help people with differences have
productive conversations and will help you to identify and discuss issues
important to you.
What happens during divorce
mediation?
With so much at stake, it is important for you to make informed
decisions. MWI mediators will guide you through a checklist of the issues
that need to be discussed and decided on in order to obtain a divorce in the
Commonwealth of Massachusetts. When all necessary topics have been covered
and an agreement has been reached, the mediators will draft the appropriate
documents for you. Couples typically spend 6 to 10 hours working with
mediators in three to five sessions. MWI draws from a talented pool of
mediators and offers flexibility in scheduling sessions, both in terms of
location and appointment times.
What happens outside of
mediation?
In addition to the time spent with the mediators, each party may need
to gather information in order to make informed decisions. Some people
benefit from meeting with a financial analyst, mortgage broker and/or an
attorney. MWI maintains a large referral listing of professionals for your
convenience.
What are the benefits of divorce mediation?
The benefits of divorce mediation include the participants' control over
important decisions affecting their lives and futures (and those of their
children); the discovery of unique and appropriate ways to resolve areas
of disagreement and interpersonal conflict; a greater likelihood that the
terms of the agreement reached will be honored in the future; a reduction
of hostility between the participants; less trauma for the children involved;
and growth in the ability of each participant to assert him or herself
and to understand, articulate, and provide for his or her own needs.
What
if
you are not sure whether you want to get a divorce?
The framework of Divorce Mediation can also be used to serve couples who have
concerns about whether to stay together or not. There might be issues that are
difficult to speak about, such as finances, parenting or lifestyle choices.
Trained mediators can assist such couples in identifying issues and
brainstorming options, which address each person’s concerns and interests. A
free half-hour session is provided in order to explain mediation and address
questions and concerns about the process. If both people agree to go forward
with mediation, an “agreement to participate in mediation” contract will be
signed by the parties and the mediators. The session would then proceed with
everyone identifying an agenda. Issues are identified and introduced for later
discussion. If the parties wish, the mediators can draft a “memorandum of
understanding” reflecting any agreements come to through mediation.
How does divorce mediation differ from the traditional divorce process?
In the traditional divorce process, the husband and wife retain separate
attorneys to handle the matters of their divorce and to provide legal advice.
An attorney cannot represent both husband and wife, therefore, separate
counsel is required. If a stalemate (inability to resolve issues)
occurs, the process can become lengthy and expensive. In this adversarial
process, the couple may view the dissolution of their marriage in terms
of a "winner take all" attitude. If a settlement is not reached,
the case could result in a trial. When this happens, decisions are
literally taken out of the couples' hands. A judge will decide the
outcome. Even if the case does not go to trial, the ordeal of trying
to reach an agreement in an adversarial environment can leave the participants
emotionally and/or financially unable to address post marital issues in
a positive manner. The post marital issues could include co-parenting
decisions, the ability to communicate with an ex-spouse, and any unexpected
problem which could affect the original divorce agreement (such as job
loss, health insurance loss, serious illness, etc.).
Divorce mediation requires the active participation of both parties.
Together, they meet with the mediator in an atmosphere that promotes understanding
and a fair outcome. Important decisions - many with long-term implications
- will remain in the hands of the parties involved. Divorce mediation
provides a forum to discuss each issue in a manner which maintains the
respect and integrity of each participant. The cost of reaching an
agreement in mediation is less than 10% of a contested divorce.
Does the mediator try to figure out what went wrong with the marriage
or help the couple find reasons to stay together?
No. The mediator does not encourage or discourage a couple's decision
to separate or divorce. Mediation is not counseling or therapy and
the mediator will not provide such services. In many cases, participants
find the mediation a healing and strengthening process.
Can a husband and wife reach a mediated
agreement if either one or
both parties is angry?
Yes. When a couple decides to separate or divorce, the events of
the past and the fear of the future can affect the emotions of one or both
parties. Although these emotions are very real to one or both parties,
the mediator will assist parties to better understand and work through their emotions
while still focusing on reaching a mutually beneficial solution. The mediator is there
to support both parties as they work to decide on the important issues
facing each individual.
Can either party stop the mediation process and/or consult an attorney?
Yes. In addition,
both parties are encouraged to consult separate attorneys before, during and after the
process. Before any agreement is finalized, both parties are encouraged
to review the written agreement with separate counsel. In addition,
divorce mediation is 100% voluntary. Either one or both
of the parties can request the process to end at any time.
If a couple pursues the traditional divorce process (each with
separate attorneys) and they reach an impasse on one or two issues, can
a mediator assist with the resolution of these issues?
Yes. Mediation can be used for an entire divorce agreement or a portion
thereof. For example, if a couple needs mediation services to settle
a visitation issue only, the mediator can be of assistance. The same
holds true for any issue appearing in the divorce agreement.
Where can I learn
more about divorce mediation?
There are a number of ways that you can get additional information
about MWI's Divorce Mediation Services:
1. Contact us to schedule a no-charge 30 minute meeting with a mediator to
get your questions answered. Appointments are held during the day, evening and
weekends in Boston, East Falmouth, Hingham, Quincy, Norwood, Weymouth and
Worcester.
2. Potential clients and referral sources can also come to MWI in Boston on any
Thursday at 3:00 PM to speak with a professional mediator, attorney, certified
divorce financial analyst, life coach, and/or mortgage broker and get answers to
questions about how these professionals can help you through the divorce
mediation. Registration is required. Please contact Josh Hoch at
jhoch@mwi.org or by calling 617-973-9739 x23
3. Click on the live help button at the bottom of this page to instantly chat
with Josh Hoch, Mediator and Director of Mediation Services.
4. For additional divorce FAQ's visit <www.divorceguide.com/divorce-faq/index.php>.
Who should I contact if I have
additional questions or would like to discuss the specifics of my situation?
MWI's Director of Mediation Services, Josh Hoch, is available to answer your
questions and provide additional information. He can be reached by phone
(617-973-9739 x23 or 800-348-4888 x23) or by email at
jhoch@mwi.org or by clicking the button below.
Click here for additional information about MWI's
Divorce Mediation Services Please
click here to
access MWI's Secure
Divorce
Mediation Intake Form
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